Oh goody, another protest.

[Language alert: I'm gonna drop the F-bomb a whole lot in this post. You've been warned.]

For the most part, I am all in favor of protesting, whether I believe in the cause or not. I believe in free speech, and I believe people have the right to speak up when they feel wronged, however stupid they may actually be. For the most part. However. There are limits to my sympathy and understanding, as is sometimes the case in Costa Rica, when one group or another (seems to be mostly relegated to taxi drivers, bus drivers and truckers) decides they've been wronged and the only way to right that wrong is to block the streets off.

Which is what happened this morning. Pirate cab drivers (so called because they are ILLEGALLY carrying people around without any meter, license (taxi license that is, not necessarily driver's license, though who knows), or insurance (generally speaking) in a tin can on wheels) decided the government had done something they didn't like and thought the best way to get the idiots in power to comply with their demands was to block most entries into San Jose. 'Scuse my languge, but Fuck. That.

I work in the city a few days a week, including today. I usually leave the house in Santa Ana around 7:00 and get to work before 7:30. This morning, though, pulling up to the Escazu toll, it was obvious something was wrong. There were about 20 cars in every toll lane, even the right-hand QuickPass lanes. Shit. So I headed over to the left-hand QuickPass lanes, which were not backed up... and I should have known right then it was a mistake. Traffic was completely stopped about 8 or so lanes wide (in a normally three-lane road), and I figured there was an accident up there. So I somehow managed to make my way through all of this mess and got off at the Escazu exit, thinking I'd go over the Los Anonos bridge and up the back way to work. Of course, ten thousand other people had the exact same brilliant idea as I did, so I sat in traffic another 20 minutes just getting to the bridge, but at least it was moving, and after that there was no real traffic to speak of.

Once I got to work, I found out the dumbass piratas decided to protest by blocking traffic. Wow, this pisses me off so much you have no idea. What right do they (or anyone else for that matter) have to block public access roads? (Turns out they don't; it's illegal.) What if there is an emergency? (Turns out there was, and an ambulance couldn't get through. How would they feel if it was their mother or kid or best friend in that ambulance? Fuckers.) So along with half of the workers in the city, I was quite late to work. (A friend at work knew about this ahead of time and came in at 5:00 a.m. I said I wasn't quite that enthusiastic about getting up so early, and I would have just stayed home if I had known ahead of time.) Now, my company is pretty cool about flex hours and days, but a lot of companies are not. How in the world could these morons possibly rationalize blockading the streets, basically depriving people of an hour or two's worth of wages, not including the wasted gas and irritation, and for what? They're like a big bunch of babies who cry and take their toys home when they don't get their way.

And what sucks is that the stupid idiots in the government usually give in to their demands. Which they absolutely should not. I mean, really. Every parent knows that when kids start whining, the last thing you do is give in, as it just encourages the bad behavior the next time they want something. And that's exactly what is going on. So I hope what actually happens is that they start throwing these idiots in jail, taking away their license plates, handing out fat fines for this crap. And I'm pretty sure the majority of Costa Ricans feel this way, at least based on the few I've spoken to (i.e., everyone at work) and from the comments on La Nacion's article about the fuckers. Everyone is just fed up with this crap. The laws are there, freaking enforce them already!

Well I'll tell you one thing. If Costa Rica still had a military, this shit wouldn't happen. Not that I'm saying there should be one; however, the police force (both San Jose police and highway patrol) really need to get their shit together and put an end to this nonsense. Although I will give them credit for using tear gas on some of these dumbfucks blocking the roads near Zapote. Although I will take away just a little bit of that credit for not making sure the roads were open and the piratas couldn't block the roads in the first place, since everyone (except me, it seems) knew about this ahead of time.

Speaking of getting their shit together, you may have noticed the highway patrol handing out a lot more tickets lately, particularly, it seems, for driving into San Jose on a restricted day, talking on your cell phone, not using a seat belt, and having tinted windows. While I can see talking on your cell while driving can cause accidents, the rest really are kind of dumb. I'm all for using seat belts, don't get me wrong, but the only person you're going to hurt is yourself if you're in an accident and not wearing one (yay Darwin!). Child seats are another thing entirely -- where are all the tickets for lack of those (currently one of the most serious infractions under the new transit law)? I certainly still see lots of people driving around without them. Or how about reckless driving, drunk driving, speeding... you know, the standard things that do cause serious accidents. Where are all the tickets for those things?

Oh but wait, it gets better: Our "wonderful" deputies in the Congress this morning decided that some of the fines for things like drunk driving and reckless driving were -- gasp -- too expensive at almost $600, so they have been lowered to around $400. Hello!? Isn't the whole point of high fines (yes, even very high fines) to make people think twice about doing things like getting behind a wheel drunk? Morons. Who elected these idiots? And it gets better: The new law gave points for various infractions; if you got too many on your license, you would lose it. For example, drunk driving was 50 points, and thus automatically you'd lose your license. This whole plan is scrapped. Say what? So you can drive drunk, have the possibility to kill someone, get a ticket, but still manage to keep your license? Bull. Shit.

Well. There you go.

Oh, and? The morons are planning another "protest" aka street blocking on Friday, March 12. For fuck's sake. The National Pirate Cab Union and especially spokesjackass German Lobo need to have their asses hauled to court. And I quote: "We'll throw ourselves in the streets on Friday and as many times as necessary." See? Big, whiny babies. Wahh wahh wahh...

More QuickPass info

Now that I've had a QuickPass for a few months, I can pass on a few "quirks" you ought to know about, in case you plan to get one yourself.

1. Supposedly, you can go to HSBC's website and type in your QuickPass' number, and it will show you all the transactions you've made and how much you have remaining on your pass. Good luck with that. Let me know if it actually works for you, because all I get is "no movements, no information." Yeah.
2. Sometimes you will find that the QuickPass doesn't work. It will say "QuickPass invalido" or "Vehiculo sin QuickPass." The first instance means you've run out of money, the second means it didn't read it properly. In the second instance, hand it to the person in the booth and they will type in the number, and if you have money left on your pass, you will be able to go through. In the first instance, if there is someone behind you, you can pay and they'll bitch at you; if there is no one behind you, they'll try to make you go in a pay lane, in which case you can bitch at them ("But I just charged it two days ago!" works for me) until they let you pay. Or you can back up and go in another lane, your choice.
3. Try to keep tabs on how much money you've got in there. It would be great if the HSBC site actually worked, but since it doesn't, this is a little difficult. If you use the electronic tolls frequently, top up frequently (personally I just throw some cash at it each paycheck; I really have no idea how much is left on it -- maybe that's something I ought to look into?).
4. Lots of idiots who don't have a QuickPass try to go through the QuickPass lane. Especially at rush hour, making the whole thing almost pointless. My advice is to hang back just a little until you see if the car/bus/truck in front of you actually goes through, then follow it. And if it doesn't go through, use another lane. If it's a bus, you can be about 95% sure they do not have a QuickPass, so avoid being behind those and use another lane.
5. Wave at all the other suckers in line as you breeze through the QuickPass lane during rush hour. This is the fun part. heh heh...
6. If you're using the Escazu tolls, know that the far left and far right QuickPass lanes are never open. I don't know why. It's really annoying. Heading toward San Jose from the direction of Santa Ana, make sure you get in the correct lane depending on where you're going next. If you're going to EPA or Escazu, use the far right lanes. If you're going to San Jose, the left lanes work best, but you can also use the third lane in from the right. I have actually seen someone cut across about 10 lanes of traffic (after using the far left lanes) to get off at the very next exit following the tolls. Yikes. Please don't be that person; it's so dangerous to you and everyone around you.
7. Speaking of many lanes of traffice, there are like a gazillion toll booths in each direction. Well, maybe 12, I don't know. Costa Rican road engineers have not figured out how to get these lanes to merge into each other and then into three lanes, so you basically have what we call the "wild, wild west" section between the toll booths and the three-lane highway, where there are no marks on the road whatsoever. Again, yikes. So be careful. I don't think I need to tell you what idiots people drive like here. I'm pretty sure there is no direct translation for "merge" from English to Spanish. ;-)
   
8. And after all these months of hassling with QuickPass, would I suggest getting one? If you use the tolls on a regular basis (I go into San Jose three or four times a week), I'd say hands down YES. The hassle of topping up seems relatively little compared to the hassle of digging around for change, waiting in lines, etc. If you have an HSBC near you with a drive through, that makes things even easier, although they can't tell you how much you have left on your pass at the drive through (you have to go in for that, and now you see why I have no idea how much money is on my QuickPass!). Also, you can use the QuickPass anywhere in the country that has QuickPass lanes, not just in San Jose. Now that there is a new highway to the beach, which I've heard gets pretty packed around the tolls during the weekends, this is another bonus to having one, even if you rarely go to the beach (personally, I can't stand going to the beach here, unless it's over in Manzanillo/Gandoca/Puerto Viejo area -- to hot and filthy).

That's all for now. I start working full-time on Monday (though it feels like I've already been doing that), so I'll probably have even less time to dedicate to this blog. So I'll sign off for a while, saying thanks for reading! I really do appreciate every comment, every page view I get! :-D

Learn Spanish for free!

A friend of mine shared this link with me, which I will share with you. He's learning Portuguese, and I'm thinking I'll try either that, or refresh my French, or maybe do something completely different and try Arabic (which I've always wanted to learn).

Foreign Service Institute Language Courses

I know at least a few of you out there read this blog because you're planning on moving down to Costa Rica (or thinking about it, at least). If so, I implore you to, if you don't already, learn some basic Spanish! You'll find life here a lot more pleasant, and you'll get ripped off a lot less (yep, the rumors are true: Gringos who can't communicate in Spanish are likely to get charged more). You might still get someone who tries to charge you more, but if you can communicate (and argue) your point in Spanish, well... you get what I'm saying?

One of the most annoying things anyone has ever said to me on the subject was back in college. A girl in one of my classes was planning on coming down here to Costa Rica for a year, like, you know, to surf and have fun and stuff? (That last bit needs to be said in Californian -- hee hee...) I was surprised, and asked her if she knew any Spanish. She said, "No, but like, doesn't everyone there speak English?" And then I was all, "Seriously?"

If you have any of these delusions as well, no, not everyone speaks English. Many people speak very basic English; some people speak English really well. But to go to a foreign country and expect people to speak your language is beyond rude -- learn their language, even if all you can manage before you get there is a few simple phrases. Trust me, it goes a long way!

And now you have one less excuse for doing so, as I've just given you a link to a whole Spanish course for free!

Woof, Woof!

The World Woof Tour 09 hits Costa Rica on November 21, and I hope you'll be there! (Click on the poster below for a larger image.)


The most important thing about the fair will be the pet adoption program, and there will also be fun things for people, auctions, contests with your pets, plus low-cost vaccine and spay/neuter clinics, etc. It's at Country Day School in Escazu, which is just a couple of blocks up from the Red Cross in downtown. Esposo and Mrs. P. will be providing deeelicious savory and sweet treats, so stop by and ask them, "Hey, are you esposo/Mrs. P.?" That would probably freak them out. Ha ha!

"The Snatchback"

Yesterday, while looking for something on a completely different subject, I came across this article in The Atlantic, about a guy who had to kidnap his son out of Costa Rica from his biological father. It's a bit long, but compelling, so I'll wait while you go ahead and read it.

Whistles. Twiddles thumbs.

Done? Good. Ok, there are some things about this story that just don't add up to me. The father, Jason, did not have custody of Andres when Andres and his mother, Helen, came to Costa Rica. In fact, Todd secured an injunction against Jason to retrieve his son. But the Siquirres police wouldn't take Andres out of the home, saying they didn't have that authority:

So Todd got an injunction from a San José court ordering Jason to surrender Andres, and he and Helen accompanied the Costa Rican police when they went to Jason’s office to deliver it. Jason still refused to relinquish Andres, and Todd says the police told him that they didn’t have the right under Costa Rican law to enter Jason’s home and take the boy.

I call bullshit. Now, to me, what Jason did is kidnapping. Sure, he's the biological father of Andres, but Andres was raised by Todd and Helen. They were his parents. Jason did not have custody of Andres. So how in the hell did the Siquirres police not do anything about it? Do you mean to tell me that if a child has been kidnapped, you know who did it, you go with the police to the kidnapper's door, and the kidnapper says, No, I'm not handing the kid over, the police can just walk away? Oh. Hell. No.

At that point, why didn't Todd and Helen get, at the very minimum, the PANI and/or the OIJ involved? Surely they both have the authority to remove the child from the home if the police are too pussy to do it. (And, as an aside, pretty much everywhere in Costa Rica, the police are next-to-worthless. If you really need something important done, go to the OIJ.) Instead, Todd spends a ridiculous sum of money ($25,000 iirc) to get his son out of the country. Granted, I'd do it too, if it were my son. I'd spend every last cent I had, and then go find more. But I think the whole surreptitious snatching Andres back could have been avoided if he'd have tried other avenues than simply the local police (not making any accusations here, but sounds like something else was going on there, you know what I mean?).

Well, at any rate, I'm glad it all ended well and that Andres is back with Todd in the U.S. To me, family is what you make it. Blood ain't always thicker than water.

(I'll grant that this story is fairly one-sided, from Todd and somewhat Helen's point of view. La Teja apparently also wrote an article about the case, but since they couldn't even be bothered to spell Todd's last name correctly, and in general seem to be more concerned with photographing women's big butts than anything else, that "paper" would be the last place I'd turn for reliable information. I also found this article from Ocala.com, but it's basically just a rehashing of The Atlantic's piece. Apparently no other newspaper in Costa Rica gave a shit, sadly.)

P.S. Mr. Hopson? I'm glad you got your son back, I truly am, but please don't call my country third-world. Sure, parts of it look like Appalacia, but the politically correct terms are "developing" and "developed" countries. Saying Costa Rica is third-world just makes you look like a rich asshole. Maybe you should visit some truly "third-world" countries before throwing terms like that around. Just sayin'.

Bam!

Night before last, about 1:00 in the morning, esposo and I were awoken by a blast that, I swear, seemed like a bomb being dropped nearby. The whole area lit up with white light and the explosion made the house shake. We both jumped out of bed, going, "What was that?!" But then nothing else happened, our son was soundly asleep, so we figured it was just some idiots shooting off fireworks too close, and went back to sleep.

Then, about an hour after that, we woke up to what sounded like a cherry bomb going off near our house. Again, we go through the "What was that!?" routine, figure it's nothing, and go back to sleep.

Around 3:00, we hear a zapping sound that is similar to what passed for science and technology in old black-and-white sci-fi movies. Or a bug zapper that was maybe a 5-foot-square box. Anyway, it was loud. And scary. We look out the window to see that, lo and behold, all that noise previously had been coming from a blown transformer on the electrical box across the street from our house. We know this now, because it's on fire.

Personally, I'd never seen an electrical pole on fire. Luckily down here in Costa Rica, cement is the material of choice for electrical poles, otherwise that thing would've lit up like a Halloween Christmas tree. As it was, wires were dropping from the box and remained on fire on the ground, while at the box, the fire was tearing up the connecting lines. (Strangely, though, we didn't have any loss of electricity.)

We called 911, and as esposo is explaining to the person on the other end that the electrical box is on fire, he (the operator) asks, "Is anything burning?" [slaps forehead] Even so, the fire department managed to get there within two minutes, although they did stop down the street first (clue: look for the electrical box on fire). [slaps forehead again] I was a little concerned that the whole thing might blow up; even so, esposo managed to take a photo of the whole affair before the fire department arrived:


Did you know electrical boxes had those light-up-in-the-dark code numbers on them? I never did, until I saw this picture.

Well, that was fun.

QuickPass for Dummies

If you live in the Central Valley, you probably know you can get a QuickPass for the newly-refurbished highway from San Jose to Orotina. That way you don't have to dig around for change every time you go through (it's 320 colones one way on the San Jose-Escazu toll, and some of the other tolls, like the one into Ciudad Colon, are even higher -- ouch!). So after a few months of working in San Jose a couple of days a week, digging for correct change, touching other people's dirty money and breathing in exhaust, I decided to buy a QuickPass. Here's what you need to do if you want one, too:

1. Go to the closest HSBC. You'll fill out a form, pay $30 (just for the pass, that doesn't include any toll money), and they give you the QuickPass. If you have an HSBC account, you can buy the pass for $15, but personally I didn't think it was worth saving $15 to go through the hassle of opening yet another bank account.
2. You then go to the cashier and pay for the QuickPass plus however much you want to put on it for tolls. Then, whenever you want to top up your QuickPass, you have to go to an HSBC and put money on it. You don't need to remove your QuickPass, however; all you need is your license plate number.
3. You might want to RTFM. I am a dipshit, so I didn't read the booklet, and put the QuickPass on the back of my rearview mirror, and then wondered why it didn't work properly the first few times. I even kept flipping the damn thing around and was ready to exchange it, when I thought, hmmm, maybe you do stick it on the actual window... Well, duh! Yeah, stick it on the window. Away from window tinting, too.
4. Now it should be ready to work. When you drive through the QuickPass lane, you hear a beep, then the toll gate goes up. If there are several cars in the lane, it appears you don't actually have to wait for the toll gate to go back down before you can go through. As long as the laser thingy reads your QuickPass, the gate will stay open and it still takes your 320 colones, so you can go through.
5. If for some reason it doesn't work when you go through, one of the toll booth workers will take your QuickPass, type the number into their computer, and then you can go through. That sort of defeats the whole "Quick" part, though. I suggest if it doesn't work, RTFM, and, barring that, ask the toll booth worker if you've put it on properly.
6. It beeps two times (or three times? anyway, more than once) when it's time for you to go top up. You have a couple thousand left on it when you hear it beep more than once.
   

That's it! It seems a little less like highway robbery when you pay a chunk in advance (no pun intended!). Plus, during work traffic, you get to go right through while dozens of other suckers wait in line. Ha! Ha, I say! It's sort of like FastPass at Disneyworld, only those are free.

Edited 28 Oct. 09: Just got this in e-mail today. It would have been nice if they'd have sent it before I had the damn thing in my car for two weeks, but that's probably asking too much. Sigh. Asi es.

To cheese and rain

To cheese:

Oh, my dear cheese! I think our relationship has finally come to a screeching halt. It's true, I've loved you for many, many years, even during these last few years when you didn't love me back. I thought I had given you up for good, but then you'd come back every few months, tempting me to have just a taste of your goodness now and again. And I believed you. I really thought that this time you would change. Maybe this time I'd be able to finally live with you. But after last night, I have to tell you that it's finally over. You've broken my heart and made me want to vomit for the last time, I swear. So don't come running back, offering extra sharp cheddar or herbed goat cheese or an excellent Swiss. I've had it, I mean it. Leave me alone. True, I may dream about you from time to time, but that's all you're getting from me. Goodbye, cheese! And take milk with you while you're at it. Don't let the door hit either of you in the ass.

To rain:

Ok, dammit, enough of this already. You do nothing but bring me down these days. I'd like to say goodbye to you, too. It's all about you, isn't it? Nonstop, day after day. What about me? What do I get out of this? You make my car filthy, you create mud that gets tracked all over the back patio and into the house, and now you're starting to kill my lovingly tended little garden. My veggie plants can't take much more of you, and neither can I. Sure, you were great at first: providing a respite from what seemed like a never-ending dry spell, showering me with your gentle, loving embrace. I looked forward to your visits eagerly. It seemed everything around me responded to your touch, growing, blossoming, awakening. But now? You're here all the freaking time! Sometimes a girl just wants to be left alone, you know? You're overbearing. You show up in the morning, stay through dinner, and you never seem to know when it's time for you to go home. There are things I'd like to do too, you know. Like have a barbecue or a picnic in the park. But how can I, when you're always there? So pack it up, and head out with cheese and milk. Sun and I have been Facebooking each other lately, and I've realized how much I miss him.

Help needed for Sea Turtles in Playa Caletas!

I first heard about this story on Michael Alan's blog, and it's pretty appalling. What's happening is that company Agropecuarios Caletas, owned by the same a-hole that also owns "eco-resort" Casa Caletas, is illegally draining a wildlife refuge that supports nesting olive ridley and leatherback sea turtles (all sea turtles are endangered, see below!) in order to plant corn. They've already been fined $21,200, but apparently just didn't feel like either paying the fine or stopping the illegal draining, and so far the courts have done nothing. Why is this guy allowed to keep giving the law the middle finger and still in the country, you ask? Follow the money, is all I can say.

You see, Costa Rica has this fabulous reputation as being so environmentally green and wonderful and all about saving land and wildlife, but what happens when the laws have no teeth? It all means nothing.

So I am standing with Michael and Pretoma and anyone else who cares about what's going on, and asking you to join me in doing something. I honestly do think we can make a difference here by standing together and putting pressure on this company, whether by boycotting the so-called "eco-resort" or calling and emailing the company to ask that they stop, or sending money to support Pretoma in their efforts in this and many, many other battles to save sea turtles, or just getting the word out about what's happening. Costa Ricans (I know there are a few who read this blog out there): This wildlife is your heritage; fight for it!

Here is Casa Caleta's website; phone number in Costa Rica: (506) 2655-1271. If you're in the U.S. and Canada, use their toll-free number to let them know how you feel: 1- 800- 850 4592. Write to La Nacion and The Tico Times and ask them to cover this story. International pressure would help -- NRDC, World Wildlife Fund, Humane Society International are just a few organizations off the top of my head you could contact. How about we contact El Presidente Oscar Arias? (Don't worry if you can't write in Spanish, his English is great! He's said he is a defender of the environment, so let's ask him to put his money where his mouth is.)

If you have other suggestions, please leave them in the comments. I know together we can make a difference. (Thanks again, Michael, for bringing this important news to my attention!)

Yummy things

Yesterday I had lunch with Mrs. P and her lovely daughter, and I thought I'd tell you about where we went because it was really good.

If you've lived in Costa Rica for any amount of time, you already know good Mexican food here is hard to find. (If you haven't lived here, you might think Costa Rica is a lot like California, with a taco stand on every other corner. Ha, I say. Ha.) I needed to get out of the office for a little while, so I asked Mrs. P if she wanted to go to lunch and if she had any suggestions. She'd heard about (or maybe been to?) a place called Picante Grill in Pavas, so I thought, why not?

Now, I have to say, there aren't a whole lot of things on the menu for vegetarians, and vegans have it even worse. That's pretty typical of Mexican food, though. But if you're neither of those things, you'll have lots to choose from. I had a veg burrito minus the portobello mushrooms and cheese, and it was efemente delicioso. Reminded me a lot of this place I used to go to in Monterey, actually. But anyway, the prices are decent, and the food was really good. So good, that we (esposo and I) ordered delivery for dinner the same night (yes, they deliver all the way to Santa Ana! And Heredia! Woot!).

Two things: Mrs. P had to ask for sour cream about four times and then go up to the counter herself before she actually got any; and when I asked if they could throw some lettuce or guacamole on the burrito in place of the portobellos, the counter guy said (and I quote) his boss "would yell at him if he did that." Because, you know, lettuce is so much more expensive than portobellos. @@ Other than that, I really enjoyed it (obviously!).

After scarfing down Mexican food, we went next door to a place called Tea Leaf Tea Land (at least, I'm pretty sure that's what it's called!), which is something, honestly, you'd never expect to see in Costa Rica. It's a lovely little tea bar with a few edible menu items as well. P the Younger had a ham and cheese sandwich, and we all had lovely little pots of lovely tea -- mine was chocolate orange, and the girls had roobios. It's a very relaxing spot, with couches, nice music, and chill atmosphere. (Don't tell my boss, but I really didn't want to go back to work after we went here! I still did, though.) They serve the tea at precisely the right temperature, and give you little tea timers to tell you when your tea has sufficiently brewed. Each tea service has its own color-coded pot and tea glass (nice touch!). Then esposo called, and asked me to pick up a bottle of vino on the way home. I had to decline, because after work on a Friday afternoon all I want to do is take a nap or watch Project Runway or something. Anything but stop at a store on the way home. Instead, I brought a couple of tins of tea, pure lavender for me (works wonders for migraine sufferers), and the chocolate orange roobios for him (he loved it). Perhaps the only negative here were the tea mints (I thought, vegan and sugar free, how bad can they be? Yuck.). They have tons of different kinds of tea that you'll never find anywhere else in this country, such as organic rose buds, artesianal tea, black teas, green teas, and herb teas of all kinds. Plus, the owner is a super nice guy and I want to see him succeed so that I can keep going back for more tea! So if you're in the area, please stop by and check it out; if you love tea, I guarantee you won't be disappointed.

Fun with Riteve

And now I'm going to try to go an entire post without swearing! Or using obscene/offensive language of any sort! Which is difficult, considering my two-year-old car didn't pass Riteve yesterday.

Riteve, for those who don't know, is the car inspection you have to do every year. Sometimes you'll see it shortened to RTV. Mine is like 8 months overdue, but esposo claims that they don't really care as long as you 1) do it within a year's time and 2) do it before your marchamo (that's the circulation rights thingy, like registration in the States) expires. The marchamo on my car expires around Christmas (I know, lucky, lucky me!), so we have a while before I have to really worry about it.

I wanted to get the darn Riteve taken care of, though, but turns out my car's rear disc brakes are poop (see? no swearing!) and caused my poor little car to fail the test. Here's what to expect if you've never gone to Riteve:

1. Make an appointment. I use their website. You can't just show up and expect to get your car inspected, but you can pretty much get an appointment within a few days, unlike, say, trying to get your cedula renewed at immigration (though you could do that at BCR, if you could manage to actually get through on their phone lines -- which is another, curse-filled post entirely).
2. Show up 15 minutes before your appointed time. Bring your registration, title, marchamo, last year's Riteve, all that stuff. There will be a line of people (probably) waiting to check in; go wait in that line. And then check in. ;-) You have to pay almost 10,000 here (you didn't think this would be free, did you?).
3. You then bring your car around to the back and get in line. If you're lucky, there will only be one or two cars ahead of you. If you're really, really lucky, you'll be the only one in line. That doesn't usually happen, though.
4. One of the inspectors will come out and you hand him the paper they gave you when you checked in. Then just sort of follow the lead of the car in front of you. Hopefully you speak Spanish or bring a Spanish-speaking person with you. Because I don't know about you, but my Spanish is pretty good, and I still don't understand when someone in a loud garage is telling me to put the car in neutral, pop the hood, slowly press on the brakes, etc.
5. They will sometimes check to see if you have a jack and triangles, but they didn't check that when we went. They will check that all your lights and directionals work, brights, winshield wipers, windows go up and down, window tinting is factory installed (if it isn't, you're gonna have to take it off, and believe me, we've gone through that before! this time the guy really picked at each window to make sure it was factory tinting, which is allowed), the seats go forward and back, the horn works, the seatbelts work, etc.
6. Then they test your exhaust and the steering, and the shocks.
7. I think at the next station they test your brakes, front, rear and handbrake. I knew we were screwed when the rear brakes only showed 38%. (Ooh, is "screwed" a swear word? Or offensive? ;-p Dang, I tried!)
8. Then you drive over an open pit, where they check something else, and shout at you from a speaker. I could not understand a word the guy said, but luckily esposo could figure it out. (Did he say Grand Central Station or your aunt's constipation?)
9. Then you wait at the end, and someone will either give you a sticker, or tell you to go to such-and-such window to get your results, or something. It sometimes gets a little disorganized at the end of the line.
10. Hopefully your car will pass and you'll get your new sticker which is good for a year -- hooray! Or, you will get a piece of paper that includes the ominous word "grave" and what's messed up on your car that you have to fix in order to pass -- boo!
11. If you don't pass, you have 30 days to fix whatever needs fixing and bring the car back for a 5,000 colones recheck. If you wait more than 30 days (me! me! me!), you'll have to go through the whole inspection again and pay almost 10,000. Which is what I'll be doing sometime in early December. Hooray for me! I still love my car, though.

Infected, addicted... you know where this is going!

On the way to work this morning, I was listening to Bad Religion's Stranger Than Fiction, and the track "Infected" came on. The chorus goes like this:

You and me / have a disease
You affect me / you infect me
I'm afflicted / you're addicted
You and me / you and me...

After my son's confusion of "addicted" and "dickhead," of course that's all I could hear while listening to the song. And, since the song kinda sorta reminds me of two different assholes, "dickhead" worked great in this instance! "I'm afflicted, you're a dickhead..."

For your listening/viewing pleasure:

Mouth, meet babe.

I bought esposo Monopoly for his iPod a few weeks back, and ever since he can't stop playing it. I told our son the other day, Geez, your dad is really addicted to Monopoly, isn't he?
He said, Yeah, Daddy's a dickhead!

I couldn't stop laughing. And then I did, in fact, explain the difference between being "addicted" and "a dickhead."

New transit laws take effect September 23, 2009

I've written a little about the new transit laws due to take effect soon, but my friend Amy has written an in-depth examination of the laws in her new e-book, Shorty's Guide to the New Ley de Transito. It's an inexpensive investment ($9.95), and if you drive here (cars, motorcycles, even bicycles), it's worth making yourself knowledgable on the subject. (Plus, it turns out I wasn't completely correct on some of the laws. Oops. Blame it on La Nacion.)

Here is just a sampling of the things you need to know:

On September 23, 2009, there will come into effect a sweeping legislation intended to transform Costa Rica's roadways from the hazardous - free for -all that has developed in recent decades, into a network occupied by safe, conscientious and prepared drivers.

Shorty's Guide To The 2000 Ley de Tránsito is a complete guide for the English speaking driver to know the rules and be prepared for the changes, that include:

» Computerization of Licenses, where points are deducted for infractions
» Dramatic increase in the amount of fines
» Safety seats for all minors under 12 years of age
» Harsh penalties and jail time for driving under the influence
» Immediate loss of license for multiple offences
» New devices requirements, like hands free cell phone adaptor, fire extinguisher, first aid kit, GPS transponder, etc.
» Sanctions for left lane slow pokes and no passing on right, even on multiple lane highways
» Foreigners and their drivers license
» Pedestrians will be required to cross at a corner or crosswalk

Now, all these new laws are fine and good, but what is the MOPT going to do about things like this? Can we fine them?

Yes, that's a telephone pole in the middle of the right-hand lane. Could they have possibly moved the pole before repaving the street? Nah, that would mean two government agencies actually having to coordinate with each other! This pole has been here, in the middle of the street, for over a month now. Let's see how long it takes to get the pole moved, or if the barriers just keep being shifted around. I'm betting on the second.

Not blogging, waving.

I suck. Truly, I do. I haven't been blogging lately, and I have to apologize for that. (Though I'm not as lame a blogger as some of my friends, not mentioning any names or anything ahem Mrs. P.!) I started a j-o-b, and it's been like 9 years since I've worked in an actual office for someone other than myself. Talk about culture shock! But it's going well so far, thanks for asking! I guess just having a job in this economy is something to be grateful for, let alone one I actually semi-enjoy doing. So, I haven't decided yet if this blog will go away or not (probably not), but if you don't hear from me for a while, well... what can I say. Think fondly of me. I shall be thinking of you, waving, from a distance.

Money talks

C. and I wanted to take our kiddos to see the new Transformers movie. C.'s daughter is 7, and my son is 5. I know, I know... some of you out there will say that the movie is completely inappropriate for a couple of kids so young, and while for some kids it might indeed be so, for ours it isn't. We know our own kids and what they like and what scares them and what doesn't. And they wanted to see Transformers, so one way or another we were going to take them to see the movie.

I mentioned this to another friend of mine, who related a story that a friend of hers tried to take her kid to see Transformers at Multiplaza and they insisted on her bringing the kid's birth certificate to show proof of age.

See, here's the thing: There are two movie ratings in Costa Rica. A and B. A is definitely all-ages, what would be considered G-rated movies in the U.S. I cannot tell you, however, what, exactly, B means. I haven't been able to find out on any website or movie site, whether it's equivalent to an R rating or a PG-13 or PG or what. Personally, I think the B rating is used so that movie theaters (and especially their $2-an-hour ticket sellers) can decide on a whimsy whether or not a movie is appropriate for your kid. Thank you very much, but I think I can decide that for myself.

So we figured if a friend of a friend couldn't get her 12-year-old in to see Transformers without producing proof of age, the only option we had was to go out to the VIP theater at Cinepolis (not that I mind, so far it's my favorite movie theater ever. Anywhere. Period.). Because, you see, as in the rest of Latin America, if you throw more money at something you are less likely to be hassled (witness the prevalence of bribery everywhere in Costa Rica). A ticket to the VIP theater costs 3,500 or the equivalent of about $6 U.S. (That's considered expensive here, by the way!) For your 3,500 you get big, reclining leather seats, waitservice, the ability to buy cocktails with your popcorn, and only maybe 100 seats in the whole theater (there are only 8-10 seats per row, I believe). Not bad, if you ask me. A regular movie costs about half that. Also, we had the Costa Rican national trait of non-confrontation working for us (after all these years, I have finally gotten esposo on board to using that to our advantage whenever possible). If you don't ask, they have to come out and actually tell you, "No, you can't do that," and that just isn't likely to happen.

So. Yesterday we went over to the VIP theater and bought the tickets. When esposo was buying the tickets, he made sure not to mention the fact that two of them were for kids (all tickets cost the same anyway), even though they were standing right there next to us. Of course, the ticket seller didn't say a thing, nor did the ticket taker as we all five strolled into the theater to take our seats. Success!

As for the movie itself? Not much to say, really. Loud, long, and not something I'll be watching again, but the kids had fun and seemed to enjoy it. At least I got to look at Josh Duhamel for the better part of a couple of hours while having popcorn and beer for dinner. Esposo is so good at picking out characters' voices; I just checked and he correctly figured out Tom Kenny (voice of Spongebob) was also the voice of the twins. Not bad!

As a post script, generally speaking, kids' movies are usually shown overdubbed here, but Cinepolis does have Ice Age 3 and Night at the Museum in subtitles. Just in case you have any use for that information. ;-)

My life, lately

It's been a while since I blogged. Sorry. Well, unless you count the comment I made in response to a rather nasty comment someone left on an old post last night.

I started a new job last week, and by new job I mean a job which requires me to actually get up early, leave the house by 7:30, go to an office, and work at an actual desk. A desk that is currently much cleaner than the one in my home office, the fact that esposo made the huge mistake of "straightening" it up for me one day while I was at said job notwithstanding. It's srange -- I haven't had an office job in, oh, nine years. Some things are great about having a "real" job -- you can always count on a paycheck, you get to interact with colleagues, and honestly, sometimes I just want to get away from the house (the dogs, cats, esposo and son) and be able to think and work in quiet. So far, I am quite enjoying my job (it's in marketing, which is a new avenue for me), and it's only part-time (thank goodness!), so I'm not in complete culture shock. I'm still doing freelancing on the side, as I just can't quite bring myself to give that up yet. Maybe in a year or so. We'll see.

Upon moving to Costa Rica (those nine years ago), I ditched the corporate wardrobe for sandals, tank tops, and cool skirts and pants (and by "cool" here I mean in the sense of breezy, not necessarily hip by any means!). While flip-flops, jeans and tank tops are fine for me in general, they are not so fine for going into an office and giving the appearance of being a professional. So. The exercise in frustration that is clothes shopping in Costa Rica begins.

Now, I will preface all of this by saying that though I think I'm fat, a lot of people don't. I am used to being on that side of thin most of my life, and after a fall during pregnancy, I was left with a knee injury that flares up whenever I try to do the least bit of exercise. So I really am not happy with the way I look at the moment (though, somehow, that will change by the end of the year, I swear it!). However, I'm still the size of the average American woman, maybe even a little bit smaller. I recently came across this article about how retailers have come up with the excuse that they have to cut women's sized (read: larger, real-sized women) clothing in order to save money in this tough economy. Despite the fact that 68% of American women are now considered "plus-sized." So I guess by offering us only "skinny model-sized" clothing, we will feel bad enough about our bodies to want to diet ourselves into fitting into those clothes, and really, they are doing us all a favor! Sigh.

And, ladies, if you think shopping for real-sized clothes is a pain in the ass in the States, you should try shopping here. It is an exercise in utter frustration, at the end of which you often want to lock yourself in the bathroom with a pint of Ben & Jerry's and just cry. Or is that just me? Anyway, finding nice clothing that fits is next to impossible. In the interest of helping out some of you out there who might be looking for decent clothes on a budget, I now lay bare what I did last weekend in my attempt to find just a few items of professional-looking clothing for the office.

I thought to hit the Ropa Americana stores (what gets left over from Salvation Army and Goodwill is sent down here), but of course it was Sunday and the two I like most were closed. So then I went to one of my usually-favorite places to buy clothes that actually fit, Aliss near Multiplaza. Aliss often goes through these personality changes, whereby they'll have the entire department full of things I can wear, to the entire department full of things I can't wear. Guess which personality was on last Sunday. (Though if anyone needs khakis in a size 16+, they have lots of them in the back.)

Next stop: Ekono in Santa Ana. I found what I thought was a cute skirt, only to try it on and realize it was a maternity skirt. How embarrassing! The fabric was all loose at the stomach, so I put that one right back on the pole. Next...I picked out a top that was really pretty, chocolate brown with tiny pin-dots all over. Supposedly a XXL, but when I tried it on it didn't even go over my boobs (and trust me on this one, they aren't that big). Before breaking down in tears, I noticed on the way out of the store that the "skirt" I had tried on was really a "dress," and the loose fabric in the front was supposed to cover one's chest. Oops. While that made me feel a notch better, it wouldn't have been work-appropriate either!

Moving on: I hit Pequeño Mundo in Escazu, not really expecting to find much of anything wearable. Imagine my surprise when I actually walked out of there with three dresses, a skirt, and a shirt! Woo-hoo! Most of the clothing in there is made in China for actual Chinese people, and since I am not Chinese, most of the clothing in there doesn't fit too well. And they don't have dressing rooms, so you sort of have to eyeball it. I started going there when my son was a baby because their prices on baby clothes were ridiculous; I still buy him t-shirts and shorts from there. We left with a few other things and I spent in total less than $50. Can't complain. Pequeño Mundo is sort of like the Marshall's of Costa Rica.

Last stop: Wal-Mart/Hipermas in Escazu. Not a damn thing in the store worth buying. Which is just as well, since I hate shopping there anyway. Something I did see, and which made me laugh (in a sad sort of way) were these t-shirts that had all of these "green" slogans on them, like "Save the Earth," "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle," etc. I figured, cool, organic cotton... or something. Nope. Nothing of the sort. I guess we're supposed to save the Earth by buying more crappy t-shirts we don't need? Way to go, Wal-Mart!

So that was it. I try to avoid the mall (Multiplaza) at all costs, particularly on a weekend. A friend of mine who is exceptionally tall and used to be a model often finds clothes at Zara, though I haven't had much luck there with things for myself (I'm 5'7"). (I sometimes find things for the boys, though.) Nothing else at Multiplaza seems worth the effort of trying on and getting irritated with.

When we first moved here, I used to see big women stuffed into clothes that were obviously two or three sizes too small for them (still do, truth be told). I used to think, Don't they look in the mirror before they go out? Ha. Now I know -- it is just next to impossible to find clothes that fit the large body here. It sucks. And guess what is on the first order of business when I go back to the States in a couple of months? Shop shopping at Ross, Target, Marshall's, Tuesday Morning, and wherever else I come across!

So modern...

We have a new highway. A super-duper, wider, newly paved and newly lighted highway from San Jose to Piedades, heading out toward Orotina and the Pacific coast. We have new highway signs, and even a big lit-up thing that is supposed to tell you things like highway closures or where roadwork is happening, but at the moment only gives you the name of the company that built the highway and the number you can call to complain about the increase in toll.

Costa Ricans, in general, are cheap. The toll used to be 75 colones (around 15 cents), charged only in one direction, with no charge during rush hours. Now it's up to 310 colones (around 75 cents), charged in both directions and during rush hours. I am not one to carry cash (like, ever! which is maybe not the best habit to be in), so I didn't have 310 colones on me this morning when I went over to C.'s place and then the one-and-only English-language library in the Central Valley. This was a mistake, as, even though there are 20 or so brand-new toll booths, none of them take credit/debit cards. So, I instead got off the highway at Guachipelin in Escazu and went the back way to Pavas.

The traffic was outrageous. It took me something like 45 minutes just from Guachi to Pavas at 11 in the morning. It would have probably taken 10 minutes on the highway, had I only brought change. (Note to self: Throw some change in the car!) Because Costa Ricans are cheap, many of them who would otherwise have taken the 75-colones highway are taking the back road and avoiding the charge altogether. Or, perhaps it's not that they're cheap, but that they're protesting the ridiculousness of the toll increase by inconvienencing themselves and others on the back road. Either way, avoid it at all costs. Pay that 310 colones both directions, seriously. It's worth it. There was almost no traffic on the highway on the way back (thanks to C2.'s lending me 310 colones, I could actually take the highway back home!), and that's definitely a nice change from the way things used to be a year or so ago before all of the roadwork began.

Anyway. I wanted to tell you about the little library. You might already know about it, but if not, the Lexicon Lending Library is over behind UCI Med in Pavas. It's not big, but it does have a nice little children's section (very little) and some decent novels. I'm not normally short of reading material, but I needed to find some stories for a project I'm working on, so besides the net, it was the first place I thought of. Anyway, check it out if you are in the area, and if you have books you don't know what to do with, consider donating them to the library. Membership for a year is only 5,000, and the people who run the place are very nice.

Saving Mother Earth, Wal-Mart style

Today I was at the Mas X Menos (which translates as "More for Less," just in case you were curious!) in Alajuela. MXM is now owned mostly by Wal-Mart (what isn't, though?), and along one half-wall they had this display of drawings by local schoolkids about saving the planet. The cynic in me thought, Well, most of them just did it because they took a "field trip" to MXM and their teacher made them do it, but then the optimist in me thought, Even so, can't hurt, right?

Some of the kids did a really nice job. I think these were the ones that actually "got it," and good for them (and us!). (Note: I didn't take pics of all the outstanding ones, and there were quite a few of them. These are just a sampling.)

"Our Mother Earth
we inherited forests and trails,
What will we leave behind?"

I couldn't make out most of this one (took the pic too small; sorry!), but the center says,
"Because we only have one Earth!"

No words, just beautiful.

"The Earth is not an inheritance from our parents, but a loan that we must return to our children."

Some of the kids obviously either didn't get it or just didn't give a shit. For example, you can file this one under "Unclear on the concept":

Actually, if my son had been given an assignment like "Draw a picture that shows how you feel about our Mother Earth!" I would not be surprised if a dinosaur, robot, or pirate appeared in said picture. Not surprised at all.

You can file this one under "Went right over her head":

I don't get it. Maybe I'll ask my own four-year-old (soon to be five!) what he thinks she was trying to draw.

Ephemera

My dog, Roxy. She has an extremely long tongue for a small dog! She once won "best mutt" at a dog show in Ciudad Colon. She was so proud of herself! P.S. Those are my feet in the fugly Crocs.

One-legged duck at the U. Peace Park out past Ciudad Colon. Esposo named the duck Lego. If it's not a birth defect, the foot probably came off from fishing wire, which is left all over the park. I don't know why they let people fish here, but they do, and then the fishermen often don't bother to pick up after themselves. Not a surprise, though, really. Unfortunately.

Behind this truck in Escazu. I couldn't believe this thing didn't fall right over. But it never did!