If you haven't seen 80s y Mas on VM Latino yet (Sunday nights from 8-10 p.m.), you should! It's so funny, it's almost ridiculous. For people of a certain age, we sit there and wonder, my God, did I really dress like that in the 80s? Did I really have big hair like that? Oh good Lord, what were we thinking!?! You, too, can feel like Beavis and Butthead (the watching-videos-and-making-stupid-comments part, not the going-around-town-doing-stupid-things part) in the privacy of your own living room.
We always end up getting a little late to the party (I think Project Runway is on at 8), so you are spared a whole hour's worth of crappy videos. Instead, I bring you the evening's second hour, with the exception of the video the played at 9 (because neither esposo or myself recognized the video -- some very, very bad hair band; my son was sure the lead singer was a girl, even though we convinced him that men, too, could wear spandex pants, sparkly shirts, long hair, and dangling earrings. He was so not believing us, however. And the frontman to this band was, in my friend Alex's words, "a baboon" desperately in need of a body waxing). Our groovy host, Mauricio, was hanging out in a t-shirt shop all night, so we never did get the names of any of the bands/songs. We knew the rest of them anyway. How sad is that?
First up: Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf." Ok, sorry, I don't have many smart-ass comments for this one, as I liked both the band and the song! This video was definitely a romp through the bandmembers' Indiana Jones wet dreams -- finding the native girl, getting busy in some fetid pool, booty shots, drinking their sorrows away in the local bar. What's not to love?
Next: Styx and "Mr. Roboto." Remember the good old days when everyone was afraid of technology? Robots will take over the world! We're doomed! Run for your lives! And we were also sure everyone would be speaking Japanese. Well, neither of those things has happened (yet, Domo arigato!), so this just looks silly. As well as the techno-garb that passed for trendy clothes back in the 80s. This one falls under the "Good God, what the hell were we thinking?" category. Esposo was cracking up through the entire thing ("Secret, secret, keep it to yourself!"). (Side note: My friend Ray in California used to love Styx. Dude! Seriously?)
Then: Joe Jackson and "Steppin' Out." Holy crap, is this a cheesy video or what? Joe Jackson himself was not so bad (anyone remember "Is She Really Going Out with Him?" I loved that song!), but this video...a little too Pretty Woman, or maybe that one where Jennifer Lopez plays the maid who gets the rich guy? Maid in Manhattan? Yeah. And why, oh why, do I know these things? P.S. I am happy to report that esposo still has more hair than Joe Jackson.
Next up: Pat Benetar pretends she's a teenager in "Love is a Battlefield"! I was thinking that the "dance sequence" (if you can call it that) in this video was the inspiration for the living dead "dance sequence" in M.J.'s "Thriller," though I'm not actually sure which video came out first; it could just as easily be the other way around. See it, gape in wonder, vomit in the toilet, and come back for more!
You're gonna love this one! Soft Cell with "Tainted Love." Motion-capture technology in action! I'm sure there's some metaphor about ... something ... happening there, but I can't figure out for the life of me what it is. Is the singer head in the sky supposed to be God? I have to just admit here that I don't get it! Help.
Lionel Ritchie stalks a blind girl in "Hello"! Oh man, who thought this was a good idea? Even if you're not vibing the whole stalker thing, it is, at the very least, unethical for a college professor to screw a student. Ew about sums this one up. I like the song, though, especially David Cook's version.
Hang in there, kiddos! We're almost at the end. After the Lionel Ritchie creep out, here's one I really like. Dave Gahan is the King of the World in Depeche Mode's "Enjoy the Silence." Nothing to say here; I'm still a fan.
Whew! You made it! Pat yourself on the back, and go pour yourself a stiff drink (if you haven't already). Madonna closes us out with a couple of videos. First, some weird version of "Disco Inferno." All I can say is, I wish I could move like that on a pair of roller skates! Last, "La Isla Bonita." Both from her Confessions tour. Was she always this skinny? Or does the unitard (second video) just make her look kinda... I don't know... anorexic? I think if you pause the video at certain spots, you can count all of her ribs. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Ew.
Until next time...
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